Baby 1 Traumatizing - Epidural - Past Due
During this first pregnancy my body changed immensely and I gained close to 100 lbs. I literally went from a 6 pack to not recognizing myself! I was almost a week past my due date and so miserable. I had my membranes stripped and was so uncomfortable. I had excruciating back labor for days and I thought it was time, how could it not be? My husband had just finished the first day of the Utah Open golf tournament and he was in the lead, 8 under after 8 holes! He generously left and came home to be by my side. By the time I had the baby he could have stayed and won the dang tournament, but that's alright.
Despite the fact I was in intense pain and having consistent contractions, the doctor kept sending me home. Finally once emitted, I got an Epidural and pushed the button as much as I could for more relief. Baby boy was posterior and stubborn. The doc used 3 different types of vacuums to try and maneuver baby with no luck. I pushed every contraction for 4 hours straight. It was intense and I fainted twice, but despite the circumstances, we laughed throughout most of the labor. In the end he came out vaginally and was a healthy body. Labor was traumatizing on my body, recovery was tough but I didn’t know any different. After postpartum depression and some challenges, over the next year I worked hard to heal my body and get back in shape and healthy again.
Baby 2 & 3 Monochorionic Identical Twins
Shortly after our first baby, we got pregnant and I refused to gain 100 pounds again so I continued lifting and working out hard. At 21 weeks along, I went in for my first ultrasound and discovered we were having twins!!! Monochorionic identical twins, super rare, only 1% of identical twins are this type. They shared the same sac and shared one placenta. This means they were high risk so they monitored them closely. At 34 weeks unfortunately I got food poisoning. This kick started active labor that couldn't be stopped. Some very personal spiritual experiences happened and I knew the babies were coming that day no matter what! They did an ultrasound to check placement and discovered they had Twin to Twin transfusion. One baby had stopped growing. Within minutes they prepared me for an emergency C Section and off we went! Looking back, it seems like I could have delivered vaginally because I was in labor already, but it is what it is. As they pulled the babies out, they swiftly moved past me and into the care unit, my husband followed. I was placed in a room by myself to recover. I had a bad reaction to something they gave me and my entire body felt like it was itching from the inside out. I remember I couldn’t stop scratching. I ripped my IV’s out and felt crazy! Having somebody check on me would have been nice, lol!
Despite being 6 weeks early, the babies were doing amazing! The lungs were developed and they only had the oxygen flow and a feeding tube. They spent 3 weeks in the NICU, super grateful for the sweet nurses who took care of us.
Baby 4- Vbac - Past Due - Epidural
Pregnancy was great until about 36 weeks, I noticed my stomach wasn’t getting any bigger. At every appointment, the doctor would measure me and say the same number as the previous measurement. When I would ask him about it, it was shrugged off as “baby could have changed position or the measurement may have been off before”. He wasn’t worried at all and so neither was I! I taught fitness classes until the third trimester, I felt strong and healthy. I went into labor 4 days past my due date and the doc also moved me along with some pitocin. I was told I had to have an epidural while going for a VBAC to help with a smoother transition if a cesarean was necessary. So that's what I did! Delivery was a breeze and everything went well. They did find my placenta was black and crunchy which was why I had stopped growing later in pregnancy. So grateful everything worked out and baby boy was healthy. Although he later struggled with his health, watch his story here.
Baby 5 -Vbac- Past Due- Epidural didn't work
This pregnancy started out the way they all had, I was so nauseous and sick. Then half way through I found my groove and enjoyed long walks and hikes with my kids. I went past my due date again but I was getting used to that too. I went into labor on my own while on a walk and my husband had to come pick me up to drive me to the hospital. My contractions were painful but not terrible, the nurse checked me and I was dilated to an 8 ½. They still tried giving me an epidural but after the anesthesiologist was digging with the needle for 20 minutes because he couldn't find the right spot, he could tell I was getting impatient. All of a sudden he said okay I got it and left in a hurry. As did everyone else because they assumed I would now be comfortable. Eric even went to the parking lot to visit with family. The pain became intense and I was laying on my side grabbing the bed rail, with tears streaming down my face. I wasn't mentally prepared for a natural birth but I could feel everything. Luckily it went fast and smoothly. As soon as Eric walked in I told him to go get a nurse, she checked me and it was go time. Another baby boy was born after a few contractions of pushing.
We had 5 incredible active boys who kept us busy! We tried to enjoy every moment because we thought we were done having babies. And then…. Dun dun dun…… being a week late starting my period, I peed on a stick on the side of the road because I was too nervous to go home. I saw two lines and this is the beginning of this homebirth story.
Our Positive Unmedicated Home Birth Story Baby #6
REMI ROSE
It was beautiful. It was spiritual. It was hard. It was empowering. It was healing. It was connection. It was peace. It was LOVE.
Background
From when I started having babies leading up to this point in my life, I am completely different because of life experiences. I have no regrets of my past decisions and births, although I wish I could have made smarter choices. Life is a journey and has led me to the here and now. After 5 boys, I thought our family was complete and I remember telling my sister, “if I could have a baby again, my delivery would look a lot different”. Then much to my surprise, I got that opportunity! After 7 years since my last babe, I was going to have a baby girl and my sister was right there to see if I would actually follow through with my big talk, lol! Of course I was, but I wasn’t thinking about a home birth, my plan was to give birth naturally in the hospital birthing suite with a midwife. Well, they told me I wasn’t eligible for a birthing suite because I had a cesarean in the past. I scheduled visits with several midwives in town close to the hospital thinking I could give birth there. Nope, they only did births in your own home, eeek! I still wasn’t ready to accept that option out loud. Although, subconsciously I wanted to but wasn't brave enough to speak of a homebirth out loud yet. I didn’t feel good about any of the midwives I met, they weren’t right for me. What is a girl to do?
Everything fell into place when I heard of a friend who has given birth to many babies in her home, she told me about her midwife. I went and met her and knew right away she was the one, it felt right and I trusted her.
Why a Home Birth?
I never thought I would even consider a home birth, let alone a natural birth, but yet here we are! I knew in my heart I wasn’t about to hire an OBGYN, the thought of being in a hospital and giving birth how they wanted me to wasn’t appealing at all. I wanted freedom, I wanted to experience birth the way I wanted. Actual excerpt from my journal, “My goal is to feel comfort, peace, love, feel close to my Heavenly Father, my children surrounding me and experiencing this with me. I want to release and let go instead of fighting/dreading contractions. I want to work with my body, feel supported by my midwives and listen to my own intuition, the room full of light and the spirit as I bring a beautiful soul into this world straight from heaven. Just how birth was intended. Of course things don’t always go as planned, but I am not planning for that. I am so beyond excited”
Pregnancy Complications
I wanted a low evasive pregnancy but chose to have a quick ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy and everything looked good. The doctor discovered I had a 2 vessel Umbilical cord, this means there is only one artery instead of the usual two. When I googled it, there were terrifying scenarios, so I decided not to read any of it. The doctor told me they see this once in a while and to eat lots of protein with limited sugar intake. Avoiding sugar was easy for me, but I was still a little nervous to make sure I was giving the baby everything she needed. I was continuing with a home birth, unless complications arose and we felt the baby wasn’t growing or maturing. The unknown was a little scary but I made a conscious effort to choose faith over fear.
As time went on, I had another ultrasound to check on the baby and cord, the doc told me it miraculously looked like the cord had doubled in size. I felt relieved.
But when I gave birth, the cord was actually tiny, I mean so tiny! But it somehow did the job and the baby was healthy and strong.
What Did Dad Think?
In his own words, “I’m scared to death”
Dad (Eric) was nervous but trusted me from the beginning. I don’t remember having to convince him, I just told him I felt good about it and my reasons why, and he understood. He supported me with whatever I felt was best but would tell me he was a little anxious.
Preparation
I watched hours of home birth videos feeling inspired by the strength of mothers. I spent time in personal prayer to know if this was a safe and a correct path for me and my baby. I never wrote out a specific plan, I knew it was important to go with the flow. I wanted to be flexible, smart, and do what was best for the baby at all times. To prepare, I purchased an online course and enjoyed learning truths about birth. I listened to an App daily and practiced deep relaxation and breathing techniques. I read positive birth stories in a Facebook Community for unmedicated births. I also read a book called Hypnobirthing, highly recommended. One thing that helped me practice is when going #2, instead of pushing, I practiced relaxing and letting go. It worked great! My cute niece decorated my room with positive birth affirmations. I purposely didn’t tell many people I was giving birth at home, I didn’t talk about it much, especially if I knew they would say negative comments. People can have lots of strong opinions about birth and I only listened and talked to those with a positive energy about birth. All this prep set the stage for a remarkable home-birth journey.
Embracing Imperfection for Our New Arrival
I didn’t feel ready at all, but so beyond ready at the same time! I had moments of stress trying to get all the things done before delivery. We built our house not expecting another addition, we already had 5 boys sharing 3 bedrooms. Consequently, our newest babe humbly occupies a corner in our office, but don’t worry it’s a darling cozy corner! As the due date loomed closer, my husband and I still found ourselves sleeping on a mattress on the floor in our own bedroom, impatiently waiting for the cabinet guy to complete the bed frame. That finally happened the week of my due date, yay!! Amid the chaos and unfinished projects at every turn, I practiced letting go and trusting it is all working together in the right timing. My priorities became crystal clear. My focus was my health, babies health, my family, and nurturing my spirituality and relationship with God.
Still Waiting & How Labor Finally happened
Hello due date, bye due date! I found myself more than a week past the due date. It felt like 5 weeks wrapped into one, but I believed the baby would come in the perfect time for me and the baby. This doesn’t mean I didn’t try to urge things along! I am in the camp of not inducing labor with pitocin, and believe due dates are estimates but on the other hand I was all about naturally and gently moving things along because of the one artery umbilical cord. I was past due with my 6th baby after all!! My sisters came and rubbed pressure points to start contractions, and they weren’t gentle about either haha! This has worked successfully for me previously twice and for several sisters to start labor contractions, but it didn’t work this time. Contractions would start and last for hours but didn’t go anywhere. I went on several long walks, ate the recommended foods, hiked the mountain for a Christmas tree in snow to my waist, the husband handled things if you know what I mean, drank the teas, chiropractor, BUT still no progressive labor.
39 Weeks 2.5 centimeters dilated 30% effaced
40 Weeks No appointment because my midwife had several ladies in labor. Lots of contractions but would go for a few hours and stop.
40 Weeks 5 Days 3 centimeters dilated 50% effaced
41 Weeks I may have had my husband check me to get his expert opinion. He can officially add OBGYN to his resume:) He obviously wasn’t sure what I was dilated to but he could feel her head and that was surreal for him.
41 Weeks + 1 Day It was almost midnight and my sisters came to check on me. I explained I had one last thing I wanted to try because I was worried the baby was posterior and that was the reason labor wasn’t progressing. They said let's do it and searched up the Full Miles Circuit exercises on You Tube. Within 5 minutes they were sleeping on my couch and I sent them home to bed, promising I would finish and I did! The exercises were more like poses and stretches held for a long period of time. I completed it and went to bed not expecting anything.
41 Weeks + 2 Days During the night I woke up several times with strong contractions, but this happened often and I didn’t want to start tracking until I knew they were going somewhere. Been there, done that too many times! Finally around 4 am, another big contraction came and I decided I better start timing. The contractions came every 9-10 minutes for several hours. At 6:14 I texted my midwife that they were strong but staying 9 minutes apart. She called me and I remember telling her I wasn’t sure if it was labor yet, I was a bit in denial. I got in the shower, yep still coming on strong but started acting more inconsistent. One would be 6 minutes apart and then 4 min, 10 min, 2 min….. This confused me. But they were painful, I had to breathe through them. My midwife decided to start driving, she lived 45 minutes away and got to my house at 10:30. She declared I was in early active labor. It was happening!!
The Big Day
At 11:00 am contractions started closing in to around 4 minutes apart, they were strong and I was using the skills I practiced. Baby was posterior, and this caused for a more painful labor. I have labored both ways and my 5th baby was a breeze compared to this one. I had 3 sisters who were able to be here as well, they helped me with anything we needed. The Soccer World Cup game was on so the boys were in heaven, and the house was decorated for Christmas.
I labored on my bedroom floor standing, squating, and using the birthing ball often. I rested my upper body on top of it and relaxed my body over the ball. The goal was to allow my muscles to contract up my abdomen and then naturally start to push down on my uterus, working with my body instead of against it. During a contraction I allowed my body to do the work, keeping my hands and face completely relaxed.
Labor consists of 3 stages. The first stage has 3 phases which are Latent(0-4cm, cervix begins thinning and dilating), Active Labor (4-10cm contractions every 2-3 minutes), and then Transition (most intense contractions every 1-2 minutes with no break in between).
First Stage
Onset Latent phase 4:00 am 6.5 hours
Onset Active phase 10:30 am This is when the midwife got to my home.
It took 2 hours 21 minutes from the time Active labor started until baby was born.
Transition Phase: I transitioned while on my side, contractions were constant. I felt sick like I was going to puke. My whole body was achy, my midwife reminded me it’s because I have a head coming through my pelvis lol!
Second Stage
Onset Second Stage 12:45 pm Duration was 6 minutes. Membranes ruptured spontaneously at 12:45 pm. During this stage we used McRoberts position which helped the baby rotate and descend, this is back laying with knees pulled to chest.
Powerful Moment: During transition I mentioned I felt like such a wimp, all at once 5 women said, Angie no you’re not!! Then my midwife explained, “This is the hardest thing a woman has to do physically and mentally. Let yourself be free, don’t judge yourself. Let it all out Ang. Be free and comfortable.”
During the ring of fire, I felt crazy inside but everyone said I was calm and handled it well. I didn’t feel calm haha! The midwife was very hands off the entire time, she let me do my thing but gave me encouraging words when I needed it. I loved that she just let me be. Eric’s touch was calming and brought comfort. At one point, when I thought I couldn’t keep going, he held me tight and gave me strength. It was teamwork and I was grateful for him!
Baby girl was born into her daddy's hands at 12:51 pm
Oh the relief, the pure joy. It is indescribable.
Dad immediately put baby on my belly, the umbilical cord was extremely short, so she was low on my stomach and I felt like I could barely reach her. We savored the moment while we waited to cut the cord. She wanted to eat right away and did amazing.
Third Stage
The placenta was delivered smoothly in about 12 minutes. It was so nice to be able to crawl up and into my comfy bed to recover and snuggle baby the rest of the day.
The Birth Experience & Pain
I prayed for this moment and it was better than I hoped for. It was sacred and healing in every way. A true gift. It was essential to be more connected spiritually to God and in tune with my body than ever before. The trust for my own intuition was deep. The experience was raw and real. It felt triumphant to know that we did it! I gained strength and confidence, knowing I can face intense pain and embrace it. I was able to work with my body and let it do the work, it knew what to do. I never pushed once, even when my midwife told me I could. I just kept my body relaxed, focused on my breathing, and tried not to fight. Did I feel pain? More than I knew my body could bare, but at the same time it felt embraceful instead of a fight. To be honest, I have watched many births of incredible mothers where it seemed like they could sit in the ring of fire for hours. That wasn’t me! I needed her out and it was intense. I told my boys I wouldn’t yell, well I lied and they don’t let me live that down. I thank God I was able to have this experience, it was beautiful, miraculous and perfect.
What Did Dad Think After the Birth?
Eric said this was the least stressful birth and his favorite out of all of them. He really enjoyed it and was right there with me, supporting me. One of my favorite moments was my sisters telling me that Eric would watch me during strong contractions with tears rolling down his face. He was all in and I loved that! Eric was the first person to touch the baby as she came into this world. I wanted it to be him, I wanted his comforting hands to catch her. And of course he had to make a timely joke, when the midwife told him it was time and asked if he wanted to catch her he said, “sure, but why doesn’t anyone ever let me play quarterback?” I looked at him like he was crazy because I didn’t understand his joke, but I do now lol.
What Did the Boys Think?
I wanted my boys to be in the room, I couldn’t imagine doing this without them. I told them they didn’t have to watch but I wanted them there to witness the miracle of birth. The oldest was 15 and the youngest was 7. They were so cute and all sat in my bed together during active labor. Some hid their face in the pillow at times, and one came and held my hand during the strongest contractions. They all found themselves peeking over the bed to watch as their little sister came into the world and felt all the emotions. One lucky big brother even got to cut the umbilical cord. If you ask them today what they thought about the birth, each one would have a different answer. One might even say it was traumatic but he was glad he was there. All in all, it was educational I am sure! They love her so much and will forever be her protectors.
Reflection
I do not want to get caught up in wishing I would have done things differently but the truth is, there are a couple things I would change if I could go back. I wish I would have gotten in my tub to labor. I had all the intentions to but in the process my mind wasn’t thinking straight, I was in the zone. I should have communicated beforehand so that someone could have started the tub. I didn’t have too many expectations of what my birth would be like exactly, but I knew I didn’t want to give birth on my back. When it came down to it and I had done all the laboring on all 4’s or in a squatted position, my midwife asked if I would try turning on my back with my knees to my chest to see if that would help turn the baby. It did actually work and she was born soon after, so I can’t regret that. The final thing that makes me absolutely cringe is the midwife assistant rubbed my baby like crazy right after the baby was laid on my stomach. I wanted to yell STOP touching her, leave the vernix there, she’s perfect, I want it on her so it can soak into her skin!!!! But again, I couldn’t verbalize my feelings in the moment. This would have been prevented with a little more communication.
Core Memory
This journey and miraculous event transcends words, it has become a core memory etched deeply in my heart and soul. It may have been a physical event but it was also spiritually transformational. The strength I discovered within myself to maintain constant belief was more than I could have imagined. It felt warm and intimate with my favorite humans surrounding me, creating deeper bonds. I am forever changed and in awe of the miracle that birth is.
Labor Prep
Prenatal Supplements
It’s best to eat a whole food balanced diet but I do feel supplements are key for a well rounded healthy pregnancy.